My Walden

 "I love to be alone.  I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."  ~Henry David Thoreau. Walden, 1910.

Breakneck Pond View Campsite, Nipmuck SF

        When I speak about learning to be alone, I am always referring to our days in Eagle River, Alaska, the hundreds of thousands of acres of state and national parks and forests.  Reading the " You are in Bear Country" signs, not finding a single car in the parking lot, knowing that there is no "blue blazed" trail to follow, walking among the cow parsnips that a full head taller than us, and carrying the knowledge that no will hear us if we ever had to call for help.  Over our eight years there, we learned comfort and ease in the solitude of the backcountry wilderness. 

Disclaimer: This post is not about a trip on the AT. Although, it is my preparation for a solo backpacking trip on it.

        I have hiked trails, kayaked, and camped with friends, backpacked with and camped with strangers (and among bears) at the McNeil River Bear Sanctuary and on the AT.  I have been hiking and camping with my students most of my years as a teacher.   Notes on 52 Hikes in 52 Weeks show that I hiked with someone 50% of the time.  My day hikes have always had my constant companion, my lover of water features, the chaser of squirrels, connoisseur of the perfect chewing stick, and the hiker of double my miles, my Tulsi-girl.  

Tulsi enjoyed a muddy pond crossing in Nipmuck State Forest

    While we scoped out my modest first solo backpacking trail and campsite together, alas, dogs are not allowed to camp in CT's state forests.  This became my opportunity to do it truly solo.  I followed the sound advice of #thehungryhiker, an enabler of women backpacking solo, and chose a trail that was not too long (2.5 miles), not too far from home (It was a good hour and 15 mins away in the northeast corner of CT, 4 miles from the MA border.  If I forgot something, I was done for.), and familiar (not really, I had never hiked in Nipmuck State Forest).  Tulsi and I walked on the Nipmuck Trail, meeting nary a soul, and peeled off on to the rocky and rooty trail along Breakneck Pond (yes, opportunities to break one's neck abound).  2.5 miles in, we discovered this utterly delightful, well hidden campsite with a perfect view.  I had to push aside the fragrant flowers of the Sweet Pepperbush (grateful that they were not blueberry bushes) to find the clearing.  Tulsi tested Breakneck Pond's waters, sniffed around the campfire ring, and approved the location.  I was ready to submit my application to the DEEP CT for permission to camp here two weeks hence. 

    The Nipmuck people were an Algonquin Indian tribe that lived in what is now central Massachusetts. 

        In addition to being my solo adventure, this was also to test out my new backpack! After 40 years (and it is still going strong, my stout REI frameless pack), I purchased Gossamer Gear's Mariposa 60 as a birthday gift to myself.  As I age, I worry about my ability to carry weight, and the words gossamer and mariposa conjured up images of ethereal airiness and weightlessness, making it sound like the perfect pack.  Highly recommended by the above mentioned #hungryhiker, it was as simple as my trusty REI pack - a central cavernous chamber, and many large useful pockets to stash a variety of things -  only a lot lighter than its REI ancestor. Fully loaded with my shelter and sleep systems, water filter and food in the bear vault, medical kit, head lamp, cook system, sleep clothes, additional layers, and a toilet kit, it weighed 25 pounds 

Mariposa 60 by Gossamer Gear and hiking poles

       Ahead of the day of the hike, I had filed my trip plan with Rajani and left a copy for Emily, our dog sitter.  They knew whom to call if they did not hear from me the next morning by 10 AM.  

      Journal:

        I could not have asked for a more magnificent day.  It is 85⁰ F, the sky has returned to blue after winds pushed away the smoke from the Canadian wildfires that were obscuring even the sun, like clouds, making us think that we were to get rain. There is a gentle breeze that is pushing the water from the south. Bar the occasional planes taking off from Boson, only the sounds of nature are heard.  I am at peace.  I am calm, much like the lilies that float on the edges of Breakneck pond.  

          The Amygdala area of my brain was in work mode.  Being alone, I noticed my heightened awareness of my surroundings.  Every little twig snap, scurrying sound, and large boulder or tree trunk got me to stop and turn around for a second look.  Have I, as the intruder, disturbed a local resident? Is it large? Is it small? Am I in danger? 

Stopping to take in the view on Breakneck Pond view Trail after playing with the selfie timer!

      The trail I walked on to get to this secluded campsite lives up to its name.  With a 25-lbs pack, roots and rocks, crevices and boulder hopping, I was extra cautious. With Peter Rabbit and Cat Rocks on my left, and the pond on my right, I had wondered where there was a flat enough surface to host a campsite. It turned out to be on a small peninsula, cleverly hidden away behind tall grasses and sweet pepperbush, making for a delightfully fragrant home.! It is beyond beautiful with spaces for my tent, a natural hearth with a ring of stones, 270⁰ view of the pond, and plenty of low bushes for me to squat and take care of my bodily functions. 

Chai and Murukku after I set up my tent.

        A Sweeter Morning There Never Was!

        Woke up  at 5:30 to the sounds of bird songs, but stayed cozy in sleeping bag till 6:00 AM.  The morning was the perfect cool, and with my rainfly wide open in both directions, I enjoyed the view of Breakneck Pond with a thin layer of fog. From my peninsula, I see the fog lift off in both the north and south. 

         All night the frogs have been peeping, single short peeps, calling to each other, plopping sounds as they jumped into the pond, sounds that became familiar as I drifted in and out of sleep.  A brilliant waxing gibbous shone bright white light into my tent.  Whenever I awoke during the night,  I was hyper alert for larger twig snaps or rustling. But no intruders bother me.  I had read a chapter of The Gunny Sack by the red light of my head lamp .  The yellowed pages and dim print were not enough to put me to sleep at 10 PM,  and I found myself making plans for tomorrow's return hike. Should I complete a Breakneck Pond View Trail to the Mass. border, and return on the Nipmuck trail, adding 5 miles, breaking with the plan I filed?  Was the dehydrated dinner of black beans and quinoa sufficient? Should I have packed a dessert? I seem to have drifted off to sleep eventually. 

Morning scenes at Breakneck Pond

            Across the pond, there is 2nd shelter, but no inhabitants for the night. High cirrus clouds are moving in, and in the distance, the Friday morning hum of traffic is audible as I sip my bad TJ's coffee and write my journal.  After a breakfast of oats, nuts and dried fruit (pond water came to boil noticeably  quicker than New Haven tap water), I decamp reluctantly and walk the campsite to remove any trace of my night here.  

What a gift to go quietly, to breath deeply, feel deliberately, and to be in one's own company and enjoy it.

        At 9:05, I reach the car and text Rajani.  I have reached the car and am heading back to New Haven.  Very good! came the prompt reply. 

 "I went to the woods because I wish to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." 

                                                                                                    ~Henry David Thoreau. Walden, 1910.